I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
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she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
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He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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