her vagine was all disorganized.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
