She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
