I wish I could punch you in the face.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
