The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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