He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
