And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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