I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
