Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
