Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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