My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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