Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
