i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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