i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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