I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
