i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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