I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
