I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
