but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
