Whod you bang
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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