i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
