He disabled his match.com account in front of me
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
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