At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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