Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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