I want to stick my p in your. b.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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