that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
