They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
