Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
