did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
