You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
