Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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