If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
one might say we're banned from that church
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
