The maid of honor just puked.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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