Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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