It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
