I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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