After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
