why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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