True but thats because hes a fetus.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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