In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
