So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
We had to coat check the pizza.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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