she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
