What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So vagazzling was a success
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
