GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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