So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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