i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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