don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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