i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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