i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
we're so committed to being not committed
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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