Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
