Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Your tits are I can't wait for
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
