Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
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I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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