They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
