Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
