Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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