He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
