im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
