Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
