At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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