Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I would fuck him just for his dog
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
